Main Task - 2nd Draft

This is the second draft for my thriller opening, the changes I made were:

1. Stabilised shaky pans.
2. Reduced length of pans to make shorter.
3. Removed all shots out of car window.
4. Removed track of actor walking to his house from his car.
5. Reduced volume of background music by 50%.
6. Made the ‘Thump’ sound louder by reducing background noise and increasing volume of sound effect.
7. Reduced the volume of background music whilst main actor is talking on the phone to make the dialogue more clear.
8. Reduced volume of background noise in clip of main actor exiting his car.
9. Added titles of the main actors, “Edited by…” and “Directed by…”
10. Reduced volume of sound effects when character is in toilet.
11. Removed clips of character getting a glass of water and putting down chair.
12. Removed clips of the character entering the last bedroom till the end
13. Made ending fade to black

Film length reduced from 4:30 to 2:38

Some of the feedback I recieved for this draft was:

1. The ending is a bit sudden now, consider including some footage some of the other guy grabbing the protagonist
2. There is a shot around the 43 second mark that begins quite shaky. It could do with looking a bit less jerky.
3. The titles appear quite rapidly right at the beginning - consider making them appear intermittently throughout the opening.
4. The tiles could be developed to reflect a larger production crew - if these are placed throughout it will help it look more professional as an opening.